IHJJR @ The Movies: March Edition
Don't look now but we actually have some semi decent movies to talk about this month. Hunger Games, Project X, 21 Jump Street, etc. all look like great ways to kill a couple hours. Let's get right to it.
I honestly feel sorry for the kids that will have to consider this their "Animal House". My generation had Road Trip and Old School. I don't want to see this mainly because the title is the most unoriginal and confusing thing in film history. By the way who the hell says "little person"? He's a midget!!!!
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
What. The. Hell. Is this supposed to be comedy? You couldn't pay me to see this piece of crap. A couple cameos from people that are actually funny isn't going to make this watchable. Making stupid noises for 90 minutes sounds like horrible way to spend nine bucks.
I gotta give Disney props for thinking outside the box and making a movie that people post puberty would want to watch. Besides a lack of cursing and sex (two of the classic traits of any good action movie) John Carter should be decent. Disney historically does great stuff even if its mostly for kids. I would be willing to see this in theaters if I hear some good reviews from our folks on Twitter.
A Thousand Words
Sooo if your wife was going into labor you would still stop for coffee? I can't wait to see how many different ways they can make Eddie Murphy not talk and it still be funny. The chubby white kid from Hot Tub Time Machine is pretty funny but I have no desire to see this one. Please do another Beverly Hills Cop Eddie!!!!!
The horror genre over the last decade has been extremely weak. It's basically been waiting for a new Saw movie or remakes of 80's classics. However, this remake of the 2010 Uruguayan (I didn't even know they made movies in Uruguay!) flick The Silent House has potential. Mainly because Hollywood's newest "it" girl Elizabeth Olsen is the star. If it's anything like "The Strangers" it will probably be suspenseful enough to keep your interest for 88 minutes. Why do horror trailers always use the Polaroid picture sound? I guarantee there isn't a single camera in the movie.
1. I honestly have no idea what is going on in this movie. The killer took over a kid's body so he can go on a rampage? Seems plausible.
2. Christian Slater is my least favorite actor of all time.
21 Jump Street
I thought this movie looked horrible at first but it's growing on me. Ahh the power of the "Red Band" trailer. I'll probably see it for the Ron Swanson cameo alone.
Casa de mi Padre
HOLY SHIT! Another Ron Swanson cameo?? Dude is killing this month! Another Will Ferrell does is funny (sans Blades of Glory) and it looks like speaking spanish is no different. Plus te quiero Genesis Rodriguez mucho.
Ladies and Gentlemen....the next Twilight! To be fair, though, this looks pretty good and I've heard the book is amazing. Jennifer Lawrence is easy on the eyes so that's a plus. Just from that two minute trailer I can already tell there is a love triangle. You're so predictable Hollywood. Don't ever change.
Wrath of the Titans
I haven't seen the "Clash of the Titans" so I'm going to be totally lost for "Wrath". Oh wait....nevermind.
FYI telling me the director of "28 Weeks Later" directed this is not going to influence me to see it. That movie sucked. This movie, however, looks like a fairly original premise. I like Clive Owen and suspensful movies like this so I'll probably check it out once it hits my local Redbox.