The IHJJR Top Five 2/25/12

By Anonymous - Posted on 25 February 2012

Top Five








Linsanity vs. The Heatles

Before the season started, if you told me that LeBron James would be guarding Jeremy Lin in a game, I would have told you that maybe the Mayans were onto something about 2012.  The game itself just confirmed what we already knew.  The Heat are still a great regular season team and favorites in the East.  Jeremy Lin is still inexperienced, has too many turnovers, and is trying to figure out how to play with Carmelo and Stoudemire.  Everybody who declares that Linsanity is over forgets that Knicks other options are B. Davis, Bibby, Douglas, and Shumpert.  Even though this game got out of hand, Linsanity will live on and I’m still praying to the Twitter and basketball gods for a rematch in the playoffs.

King of Beers

After graduating from college, I became a beer snob as I discovered there are beers not named Bud, Coors, Miller, PBR, Natty Light etc.  Whenever I go out with my friends, we only get some type of imported/seasonal/hand-crafted/organic/infused/overpriced/fancy-named beer.  However, if I’m watching the Great American Race (Daytona 500), it would feel blasphemous and unpatriotic if I wasn’t drinking anything but a domestic, water-downed beverage.   Good thing a 12-pack won’t do too much damage to my wallet.  I should be drinking plenty to help me get through hearing updates about Danica Patrick driving in 30th place far behind the leaders.

Slam Dud Contest

If I’m planning to go out on Saturday night, I should be well rested because I plan on getting a good nap in during the Slam Dunk Contest.  It doesn’t make sense that the NBA is rolling out the B-squad of dunkers, while freakish athleticism is at an all time high among the stars in the league (LeBron, Wade, Rose, Westbrook, Blake Griffin, etc.).  If David Stern can veto a blockbuster trade merely for “basketball reasons,” he can figure out a way to get the A-list stars back into the Dunk Contest.  This year, the easiest way for Derrick Williams to win my vote is to dunk over the Duke basketball team like it’s March Madness.

Drug Testing Gone Wrong

In a span of a week, Ryan Braun becomes the first player to successfully appeal his suspension for a positive drug test and he finds out that AJ Burnett is joining the NL Central with the Pirates.  Seriously, Ryan Braun should be investing in some lottery tickets right now.  However, the court of public opinion is different from an arbitration hearing.  To clear his name, he can’t simply explain that someone mishandled his sample.  When he hits that tape measure home run, the public will want him to explain why his testosterone was as high as the dudes on Jersey Shore.

Don't Choke LeBron

 LeBron reportedly requested some waiters to cut his well-done steak at a restaurant.  If I overreact and have a wildly imaginative mind like Skip Bayless, I would somehow equate LeBron’s inability to cut his own steak to his failures as a basketball player and a human being.  Instead, I can’t blame him for his request.  Last time I went to a steakhouse, the prices were out of control. $70 for a steak a la carte (no side dishes included).  What happened to getting a nice sized steak with a baked potato at Sizzler for $9.99?  Yes, I realize the meat at a steakhouse is nicer cut than the piece of rubber at Sizzler. But, if I ended up dropping over $100 for the steak, some sides, tax, and generous tip, I don’t think it would be too unreasonable to ask the waiter to slice my steak for me.  Maybe the waiters would feel insulted when LeBron could only eat 3 quarters of the steak.