Kardashian Fantasy Football Awards Week 4
Quick recap, Kim represents best expected performance, Kourtney represents the best unexpected performance, and Khloe represents the most hideous performance of the week. Two bonus categories this week, the Kris Jenner Award and a Ray-J Award. Also known as the "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RAY-JAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" Award.
KIM KARDASHIAN AWARD WEEK 4
3rd place – Arian Foster (HOU) The Week 1 Kourtney Award winner is now a weekly candidate on the Kim award list and is the leading rusher in the NFL by over 120 yards. Against the Raiders on Sunday, Foster had 16 carries for 131 yards and 1 TD. He also had 3 catches for 56 yards and another touchdown. Since I own both Chris Johnson and Arian Foster on the same fantasy team, I'm probably one of the few people who has Deangelo Williams on sitting on their bench.
2nd place – Calvin Johnson (DET) Finally Calvin Johnson has stopped playing like Starscream and playing like Megatron should be. He should be awarded an extra 2 fantasy points per touchdown catch this week for degree of difficulty as well. Johnson had 6 receptions for 86 yards and 2 TD’s.
Winner – Antonio Gates (SD ) No quarterbacks really stood out with great games this week, so I figure we'd throw the tight ends a bone here by choosing Antonio Gates. Gates had 7 catches for 144 yards and 2 TD’s. Expect a lot of winners this year from teams who are playing the Cardinals each week.
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN AWARD WEEK 4
3rd place – Shonn Greene (NYJ) I'm pretty sure the UFL All-Star team (UFL is that ghetto league on HD NET and VERSUS that looks like Arena Bowl teams outdoors) could beat the Buffalo Bills right now, but just seeing Greene get 22 carries is a surprise right there. He ended up going for 117 yards as well. We'll get to Tomlinson in another award, but unless Greene plays the Bills again or Cardinals it will be risky to start him on your fantasy team.
2nd place – David Garrard (JAX) After 2 horrendous games with 1 touchdown and 5 interceptions, Garrard led the Jaguars over the Colts going 17 for 22 for 163 yards and 2 TD's. He ran 5 times for 44 yards and a touchdown too. People in Jacksonville still probably want Tim Tebow though, who will never come close to as many touchdown passes as kids he circumcised on his religious mission to the Philippines. People in Jacksonville would probably kneel before Tebow like he was General ZOD in Superman II!
Winner – Terrell Owens (CIN) Chad Ochocinco blew up week 1 versus New England, and now it was TO's turn. TO had 10 catches for 222 yards and a touchdown, which is only 4 less catches and 70 yards more then his first 3 games combined. Unfortunately it wasn't enough for the Bengals to get the victory over the Browns. Even more unfortunately, if TO keeps having decent games we might have to put up with another season of his reality show that is the worst show ever except for "The Littlest Groom" and that Britney and K-Fed show.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN AWARD WEEK 4
3rd place – Drew Brees (NO) Even though going 33 for 48 with 275 yards and only 1 touchdown isn't a horrible game, someone has to call out Brees for not living up to his standards. Especially at home against the Panthers, he should have 3 touchdowns passing by half time. I don't have Brees on any of my teams, so I wouldn't mind the mediocre performances to keep on coming!
2nd place – Beanie Wells (DEN) At first I thought Beanie's poor production was due to injury, but he said his knee was fine and had no clue why he didn't get a carry until the 2nd quarter. Wells ended with just 5 carries for 19 yards, and 1 catch for 6 yards. Another pathetic NFC West team that miraculously has two wins somehow, the whole division is playing like they are 0-4 except for the Rams which is the biggest surprise of the year!
Winner – Randy Moss (NE) So TECHNICALLY while I'm writing this Moss is still a member of the Patriots, but that could be very different tomorrow. What isn't going to change is that Moss is the winner of this week's Khloe award for zero catches and only one target from Brady on Monday night. I kept thinking Monday that Moss was used as a decoy all night, but if he is gone than I doubt that Wes Welker and the rookie tight ends will find as much open space as they have been so far. One other possible positive, maybe we will get the Vikings Afro Randy Moss back too?
Kris Jenner Award Winner – LaDainian Tomlinson (NYJ) So I couldn't decide if LT should be up for a Kim award for expected performance, or a Kourtney award for an unexpected performance. Instead, I decided to give LT the first Kris Jenner award for best performance by an old guy that thinks he is still young. It is in honor of Kris who thinks she is still cool enough to hang with her daughters and party with them. Although it's kind of weird to call a player "old" when he is one year younger than I am, compared to the average running back LT is over the hill. LT ran 19 times for 133 yards and 2 TD's, and caught 3 balls for 22 yards.
Ray-J Award Winner – Patriots Defense/Special Teams This award should be pretty self-explanatory. If you saw the home video of Ray-J and Kimmy K, it is something that you will never forget. If your fantasy opponent started the Patriots D/ST against you this week, I don't think you will forget the numbers they put up for a long time. The Pats had 14 points allowed, 4 INT’s, 2 sacks, 2 blocked kicks, 3 TD’s. If you had Patrick Chung in an Individual Defensive Player league, he probably shattered records for points with 2 blocked kicks and a Pick-6. If you were down by 30 points and started the Pats D, you probably let out an OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RAY-JAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY after securing your victory.