What was she THINKING? March Madness Edition
I decided to write a blog about choosing a bracket based solely on emotion and bias (and some common sense because Ohio St isn’t losing to St. Bonaventure unless my Thad Matta/Gargamel Look-A-Like Voodoo doll arrives from Amazon). That’s how it started, at least, but as I got deep into the process, it turned into less bias and mostly common sense, and alcohol was not involved. So, without further adieu:
East Region, Round of 64:
(1) Syracuse vs. (16) N.C. Asheville – Since a one-seed has NEVER lost to a 16-seed, I’m using common sense on this one to go with Syracuse.
(8) Kansas St. vs. (9) Southern Miss – Not familiar with either team's body of work, but I will go with Kansas State because C-USA is not exactly a power conference.
(5) Vanderbilt vs. (12) Harvard – While there is at least one 5/12 upset every year, this is not the one I’m picking. Vanderbilt just beat Kentucky. They’re hot.
(4) Wisconsin vs. (13) Montana – I don’t think a miracle is going to fall out of the BIG SKY (hahah see what I did there? I kill myself. What’s that? I’m not funny? Fine, have another drink buttercup!) and grace Montana with an upset. Though, with my luck Wisconsin will lose to punish me for my horrible pun.
(6) Cincinnati vs. (11) Texas – Still trying to figure out how Cincinnati won the BET, but I am going to go with them since they beat Syracuse.
(3) Florida St. vs. (14) St. Bonaventure – FSU knocked off Duke AND UNC, which makes them my hero, so I’d pick them regardless.
(7) Gonzaga vs. (10) West Virginia – I truly believe Gonzaga is overrated on a yearly basis and the WCC is really weak, so a 7-seed for them is like a 16-seed for anyone else. West Virginia wins this.
(2) Ohio St. vs. (15) Loyola (MD) – Thad Matta could start all his red shirts and OSU would STILL win this game.
East Region, Round of 32:
(1) Syracuse vs. (8) Kansas St. – I’m afraid this one is still a no-brainer. ‘Cuse by…eleventy billion.
(5) Vanderbilt vs. (4) Wisconsin – Apparently Vandy is legit here and I have no idea who will win, so my B1G bias wins out.
(6) Cincinnati vs. (3) Florida St. – Rick Pitino makes my skin crawl, so I’m picking FSU. Also they are likely the better team.
(10) West Virginia vs. (2) Ohio St – As much as I want to pick against OSU, that would be dumb. I’ll do that in another round or two.
East Region, Semifinals:
(1) Syracuse vs. (4) Wisconsin – Without Fab Melo, this is where Syracuse falls.
(3) Florida St. vs. (2) Ohio St. – This is where my bias comes into play – I’m taking FSU here. Holy crap I have FSU in the Elite 8? No way that happens. OSU. OSU will win. But there are unexpected upsets EVERY year. But on the other hand, I don’t want to lose a Final Four team in the Sweet 16. But on the other hand…wait, I’m going to check each team’s losses. Hold please. Okay, OSU’s only bad loss was to Illinois. And Florida State has NINE losses one of which was to Harvard? And by 20 to Clemson? Is Clemson even IN this thing? No, no they are not. Okay…Ohio State. I’m picking Ohio State.
East Region – Finals
(4) Wisconsin vs. (2) Ohio State – I’m choking on my own vomit as I pick OSU to be my first Final Four team.
East Region Champion: Ohio State
South Region, Round of 64
(1) Kentucky vs. (16) West. Kentucky – I don’t need to explain why I’m taking Kentucky here, do I? Good.
(8) Iowa St. vs. (9) Connecticut – Yeah, I don’t really care. UConn I guess.
(5) Wichita St. vs. (12) VCU – Illinois is my alma mater and Shaka Smart is one of the front runners to take Bruce “My goal in life is to emulate Ron Zook” Weber’s job, so I’m going to go with VCU here.
(4) Indiana vs. (13) New Mexico St. – What conference is New Mexico State even IN? Indiana will win easily here.
(6) UNLV vs. (11) Colorado – Vegas is one of my favorite places, so clearly that means UNLV will win this game.
(3) Baylor vs. (14) South Dakota St. – I’ll take “if Baylor loses this game they will also lose all credibility” for $1000, Alex.
(7) Notre Dame vs. (10) Xavier – I was thinking I’d adopt a team from the Big East to use for my bias picks since I can’t use Villanova, and I suppose ND is an acceptable choice.
(2) Duke vs. (15) Lehigh – Duke. Puke.
South Region, Round of 32
(1) Kentucky vs. (9) Connecticut – As much as I’d love Kentucky to lose this game, they won’t.
(12) VCU vs. (4) Indiana – Shaka Khan-not win this game. Wow, I’m a loser.
(6) UNLV vs. (3) Baylor – This game sounds boring. I will not watch it. Baylor.
(7) Notre Dame vs. (2) Duke – Duke. Puke.
South Region, Semifinals
(1) Kentucky vs. (4) Indiana – Indiana beat Kentucky once and they can do it again. Plus if Kentucky made it to the Final Four it would just be vacated anyway.
(3) Baylor vs. (2) Duke – Duke is not as good as everyone says, I don’t care what anyone says.
South Region, Finals
(4) Indiana vs. (3) Baylor – Baylor – but I don’t have a valid reason. So maybe Indiana. I have no idea. This is already the Elight 8 game that will never be, so why does it matter?
South Region Champion: Baylor
West Region, Round of 64
(1) Michigan St vs. (16) LIU – Do I need to explain why I’m picking MSU? No? Good.
(8) Memphis vs. (9) Saint Louis – I guess Memphis, because, well, I have no idea.
(5) New Mexico vs. (12) Long Beach St. – Long Beach St beat Pittsburgh, which is now meaningless, but I’m still taking them over New Mexico.
(4) Louisville vs. (13) Davidson – Louisville, but I’d love it if they lost.
(6) Murray St vs. (11) Colorado St – Neither? I suppose Murray State.
(3) Marquette vs. (14) BYU – Marquette has had a solid season and I can’t think of a single reason they’d lose this game.
(7) Florida vs. (10) Virginia – This one is tricky because…oh wait, no it’s not. Virginia is terrible.
(2) Missouri vs. (15) Norfolk St – It’s nice to see a Big 12 (or 6, whatever it is now) team other than Kansas and Texas do well.
West Region, Round of 32
(1) Michigan St. vs. (8) Memphis – Tom Izzo has made half of the last 12 Final Fours or something insane like that and I doubt this is the year they go home the first weekend.
(12) Long Beach St. vs. (4) Louisville – I am picking Long Beach State because Rick Pitino is really skeezy and I am not choosing a team that is coached by a man who had sex with a random woman on the floor of a diner and then tried to pay her off. So there.
(6) Murray St. vs. (3) Marquette – This is probably one of those games where I should pick the lower seed as the upset, but I haven’t been drinking.
(7) Florida vs. (2) Missouri – I hate Florida for what they did to ‘Nova in the 2006 Elite 8, (however I HAVE forgiven Joakim Noah since he plays for the Bulls), so I’d pick Missouri even if the seeds were reversed.
West Region, Semifinals
(1) Michigan St. vs. (12) Long Beach State – The road ends here for Long Beach St, barring some sort of horrific MSU injury.
(3) Marquette vs. (2) Missouri – I’m picking Marquette but I don’t know why.
West Region, Finals
(1) Michigan St vs. (3) Marquette – The Big East has not been good this year. I’m now rethinking picking Marquette over Missouri. Either way MSU wins this game.
West Region Winner: Michigan State
Midwest Region, Round of 64
(1) UNC vs. (16) Vermont – Do I need to explain why I’m picking UNC? No? Good.
(8) Creighton vs. (9) Alabama – What conference is Creighton in? No, seriously. I’m picking Alabama because it seems obvious.
(5) Temple vs. (12) USF – USF beat Villanova so they should really be a higher seed because ‘Nova’s a 1-seed this year. Hey everyone, we’ve time traveled to 2006!! What was I talking about? Oh, right. I think Temple wins this.
(4) Michigan vs. (13) Ohio – Michigan!! Go Blue!!!
(6) SDSU vs. (11) NC State – How did NC State even MAKE the tournament?
(3) Georgetown vs. (14) Belmont – I’m really tired at this point. Georgetown: because I don’t feel like thinking.
(7) St Mary's vs. (10) Purdue – Purdue – please see above.
(2) Kansas vs. (15) Detroit – Kansas, unless this is another year when Bill Self’s team flames out early. But I’m thinking not.
West Region, Round of 32
(1) UNC vs. (9) Alabama – This is probably one of those Kansas losing to Bucknell in 2005 deals since UNC still seems like the obvious choice.
(5) Temple vs. (4) Michigan – Go Blue!!
(6) SDSU vs. (3) Georgetown – I’m picking SDSU here because I really don’t have too many upsets and the past two years have been full of them. And if I’m going to irrationally hate on a Big East team, who better than Georgetown?
(10) Purdue vs. (2) Kansas – Kansas should win this, which means they will lose, but I’m still picking them to win. If that doesn’t make sense, I can’t help you.
Midwest Region, Semifinals
(1) North Carolina vs. (4) Michigan – Unfortunately I’m letting common sense override bias here. Michigan is good, but not THAT good.
(6) SDSU vs. (2) Kansas – Rock Chalk baby.
Midwest Region, Finals
(1) North Carolina vs. (2) Kansas – Oh look, a 1-seed playing a 2-seed in the Elite 8 – how original. This could really go either way (anyone remember 2008)?? I’m picking Kansas based on that 2008 game when UNC was losing by 30 at the half.
Midwest Region Winner: Kansas
(3) Baylor vs. (1) Michigan State – I’m choosing Baylor solely because this ends with me choosing Ohio State to win it all and I doubt two teams from the same conference will play each other for the national title.
(2) Ohio State vs. (2) Kansas – Gargamel and company will prevail.
(3) Baylor vs. (2) Ohio St- I have filled out six brackets at this point and cannot come up with a “creative” national champion. In other words, I have OSU, Kentucky or MSU winning in all of them. All this analysis to say Ohio State will win it all when there’s nothing I want LESS. I miss 2009. Go ‘Nova!!